Posts

How many technical support people does it take to change a light bulb?

Q:
How many technical support people does it take to change a light bulb?


A:
We have an exact copy of that light bulb here in the lab, and it seems to be working fine.
Can you tell me what kind of a system you have?
Okay.
Is it dark?
Just exactly how dark is it?
Okay.
There could be four or five things wrong, unless it's something else.
Have you tried the light switch?
Well, okay, try it now.
Okay.
Look over by the door.
Door?
Yeah, the door.
Is there a little rectangular thing on the wall?
It might be a beige color, and it has a little thing sticking out of it.
Yeah, a switch.
Good.
That's called a light switch.....

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Date:         Fri, 9 Apr 1993 20:43:47 PDT
From:         Mark R Panitz
Subject:      bus/trains jokes rated G

Two short jokes

First passenger (waiting at a bus stop) ask another passenger, "How long is the next bus?"

Reply: "About 40 feet!"

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2nd joke  (heard over a P.A. system)

"Will the passengers taking the 4:15pm train to Chicago, kindly put it back!"

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Date:         Fri, 9 Apr 1993 20:43:47 PDT
From:         Mark R Panitz
Subject:      bus/trains jokes rated G

What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull?

Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull?

A: You can get your child back from a pit bull.

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Date:         Fri, 9 Apr 1993 17:09:35 -0500
From:         Scott Guthery
Subject:      Hillary - G

What did Buddha say to the hot dog vendor?

Q: What did Buddha say to the hot dog vendor?

A: Make me one with everything!

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Date:         Fri, 9 Apr 1993 15:39:11 EDT
From:         Brian Clark
Subject:      Buddha Joke, Rated G

Bill Clinton on his morning jog

One bright day Bill Clinton departed the White House on his morning jog ...

Midway through he came across a hooker who was standing on a street corner.  As he jogged by he said, "Five dollars!"

She answered him, "One hundred dollars!" so he kept running.

The same thing happened for several days until one morning Hillary decided to join him.  Bill didn't think anything of it until he approached the street-corner with the hooker.  He thought, I'll just ignore her and maybe she won't say anything.

As he jogged by the hooker she shouted, "See what you get for Five dollars!"

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Date:         Fri, 9 Apr 1993 15:14:19 -0500
From:         Bob Hambuchen
Subject:      Clinton Joke, Rated PG-13

Few lines spoken by people in county court

Here are a few lines spoken by people in county court during the last year:

- "You know what they say, the lowest price is the law at Zellars. But they also expect you to pay. That's also the law." ... Judge to man who stole t-shirts and Christmas cards...

- "The stolen car fairy?" ... Judge to a lawyer who said his client didn't know how a number of stolen cars had ended up on his property.

- "Fortunately for you sir, there's not a section for gross dumbness in the Criminal Code." ... Judge to a man who reluctantly obeyed police orders to leave an area, yelling, "Sieg heil," and goose-stepping away.

- "It's right out of L'il Abner, isn't it?" ... Judge to a man who spat on his brother after a disagreement.

- "He was sleeping and I thought it was a good time to spit on him."... The above spitter to Judge on why he got involved in the incident.

- "He is a consumer of judicial services." ... Ju…